6 ways to emotionally prepare for retirement — even if it's a long way off

Marcia Kester Doyle
Retirement can bring its own set of challenges and stressors. Here's what to do now. (Getty Images)
Retirement can bring its own set of challenges and stressors. Here's what to do now. (Getty Images) (d3sign via Getty Images)

Many people like to ponder how they'll spend their retirement one day: selling up and moving to the beach? Crisscrossing the country in an RV? Wiling away the hours at the golf club? But fewer realize that a new life chapter comes with its own set of challenges. Having a perpetually open calendar may seem blissful, but once the honeymoon phase wears off and the boredom sets in, many retirees find themselves asking, "What's next?"

The so-called golden years, as post-retirement is often referred to, can be either daunting or filled with joy, according to mental health counselor Hovi Shroff of South Florida Counseling Associates. "One of the biggest challenges of retirement is planning it," Shroff tells Yahoo Life. "This requires a change from a speculative and growth mindset to a stable and cautious mindset. Other challenges include inflation, taxes, health and longevity issues, living situations, ageist stigmas and legacy desires — all of which take a toll on the retirement process."

Adds Shroff: "It's not uncommon for individuals to become overly anxious, depressed and/or lose their sense of self-worth and self-confidence" as they transition into retirement. "Many retirees struggle with switching from work mode to relaxation and find the extra hours wasteful."

Some of Shroff's patients have said they no longer recognize themselves after retirement, and rather than navigating this transition with joy and positivity, they feel lost. "Feelings of depression can lead to isolation due to a lack of social interaction and mental stimulation with co-workers," Shroff says. "These emotions are very real and can sometimes be debilitating for the retiree."

Experts say the best way to avoid these problems during retirement is to prepare for it early. While many people plan ahead when it comes to retirement funds, it's less common to consider being emotionally, and not just financially, ready for that stage.

"Think beyond finances by figuring out what your 'why' is and what your purpose will be later in life," Amy Harbison, of Open Window Coaching, tells Yahoo Life. "Your skills aren't gone after retirement, you just need to recognize new ways to use your intellect and experience, whether it's through consulting, tutoring, continuing adult education or volunteering at civic organizations. Start by building a secure and satisfying life that will be attainable and prioritize the things you want to continue doing after retirement so that there are no regrets later on."

Mental health counselor Connie Ingram of Ingram & Associates Counseling agrees that early preparation is key to a seamless transition that will create a sense of purpose in the future. "Preparing for retirement begins when one begins to work," she tells Yahoo Life. "This will help reduce the anxiety associated with an uncertain future."

What should people be thinking about now for a healthier and happier retirement in the years — and maybe even decades — to come? Here's what experts recommend.

Harbison believes in building good health habits early to be a fit senior when you retire. "Advocate for your health starting at a young age, even though you may feel infallible or too busy," she says. "There are molecular changes that occur in your 40s and then again in your 60s — these are crucial times to be aware of your health. Exercise, eat well and see your doctor regularly." She also recommends learning about your family's health history (if you don't already know it) to identify any screenings, such as colonoscopies before age 40 if there's a history of colorectal cancer, that should be prioritized early on.

"Some people have made their career their identity," says Ingram. "If your identity and purpose are tied to your job, then you may lose sight of who you are during retirement." Harbison agrees that these are the people who struggle the most with retirement, falling into a pattern of stagnation, despair and depression. "Set goals and have a structure in place that will help determine how you spend your retirement," Harbison suggests. "Continue building skills through volunteer work or some form of self-expression that you enjoy. By doing these things early in life, your identity will broaden as you get closer to retirement."

Shroff warns that without regular interaction, humans — by nature are social beings — will be vulnerable to depression and other health risks. She says that to maintain mental well-being it's crucial to build a network of friends, from all generations, early in life and to stay connected over the years. "Friendships are important for staying stimulated and involved," says Shroff. "Frequent socialization helps build resilience and promote acceptance once you enter retirement."

"Without a specific schedule or plan, older adults may face a lack of purpose or motivation," says Ingram. "One of the best things you can do now to stay active in the future is volunteer work. Giving your time and talents to others is vital to your emotional well-being in retirement." Harbison agrees that thinking beyond ourselves and giving back to the community sets the foundation for a meaningful life. "Continue doing the things you love — volunteering, traveling, exercising, hobbies, community activism, taking classes and staying connected to loved ones," she says. "These are the activities that will help build out the rest of your life."

Harbison suggests that if you're fearful of aging, address your concerns early by talking to older adults who can offer realistic views of what to expect in retirement. "Americans have a love affair with youth," she says. "Question your assumptions on aging and stop the negative stereotyping. Boomers today are writing a new narrative on aging, and it's all positive." Shroff adds that early acceptance of the inevitability of aging will ensure a smoother transition. "Sharing your emotions and redefining your identity as you age will help you flourish in your new role as a successful retiree."

One of the biggest concerns of retirement is the prospect of living on a fixed income. The stress can take an emotional toll on retirees, according to Harbison. She believes that as soon as it's affordable, you should start contributing to a retirement savings plan to secure your financial future. Start small if necessary, then increase the amount over time. "Consider using a financial planner," says Harbison. "An objective voice will help map out your finances and guide you through strategic savings and investments. You should also be realistic about your retirement needs because what you save now will impact your future and your peace of mind once you retire."

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