Keshi Talks Navigating Stardom, Loss and His New Album “Requiem”: 'I Had to Re-Find My Confidence' (Exclusive)

The singer-songwriter breaks down his latest release and describes to PEOPLE how he hopes to maintain his "clarity and privacy" while balancing fame

Keshi is mid-interview, just weeks before the release of his sophomore album Requiem, when he pulls out his phone. “Can I show you a photo really quick?,” he asks.

Within seconds, the 29-year-old singer-songwriter has a TikTok slideshow in his hands — essentially documenting his gradual journey to pop stardom with photos from a slew of tour dates, dating back several years. And the difference in each photo couldn’t be any more obvious.

“I posted this not too long ago. This was my first show, my first tour. And I think this was 400 [people] strong maybe,” he tells PEOPLE, holding up an image of a packed club, before he slides his finger to bigger rooms and eventually arenas — from 1,000 fans in New York to 8,000 in Toronto to an impressive 12,000 in China. These are numbers he's expected to outdo yet again on his forthcoming Requiem World Tour, too.

“But this is what I mean where it just gets unbelievable,” he adds. “It reminds me how much time has passed, how far we've come, despite all these terrible things that I'll see very occasionally. I have to remind myself, oh, dude, I've pushed through this.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

It’s been several years since Keshi, born Casey Luong, left his job as an oncology nurse at Texas Medical Center to chase music stardom, churn out lo-fi loosies and sign with Island Records after steadily growing a fanbase on Soundcloud. In that time, just as his handy slideshow documents, he’s toured the world and released two full-length studio albums, with his latest having arrived on Friday, Sept. 13.

But while Keshi’s music has pushed him into the spotlight, there’s still much he says he’s trying to “come to terms” with as he releases his second body of work. Mainly the more tricky aspects of pop stardom, including negative comments or “clamming up” when he gets recognized, which are are still not so easy two albums in. “The main thing I'm thinking about now is, how do I balance wanting to stay relevant and in the public eye with also maintaining as much mental sanity and clarity and privacy as I can,” Keshi says.

“There's never a chance to win the entire world anymore,” he adds. “Whereas, you can have so many accomplishments, as many accolades under the belt as you want. I can play [Madison Square Garden] and there's still going to be some dude who's like, 'Yeah, he ain't s---.' It got to this point where I would, as a defense mechanism, expect it. Not just expect it, but seek it out. In a comment session of a thousand, I would actively look to bully myself and be like, ‘Where's the bad one? I'm ready for it already. I'm ready for it.’”

The internet may have brought Keshi closer to his fanbase, but now he’s at a crossroads where he “could really lean into it” — basically, participate in “every single TikTok trend that exists” or simply “push back,” which is where he finds himself now. “I'm not sure if it's partially because I feel like it may not be on brand, or if it's because in my heart and soul it would make me unhappy,” he says. “I used to think that getting this to be as big as it can be was my ultimate happiness. I need to find what it is that really makes my heart at ease.”

Where Keshi does find happiness is on stage, meeting fans and, of course, toying around with new sounds in the studio. As a self-described “studio rat,” he sees himself as “a singer-songwriter and a producer that's lucky enough to be an artist.” And unlike with nursing, his current job lets him flex those “different muscles” — something he proves once again on his latest release, Requiem.

The featureless project, which runs for 13 songs and a tight 40 minutes, was written during a time when Keshi’s life got “very contentious,” he reveals. “Everything was at odds with each other,” he says of the album, which arrives over two years after his debut, Gabriel. “This record reflects those things, whether it comes to addiction or being ripped away from home constantly. Or, how does it affect my dynamic with my partner?”

Related: The 1975's Polly Money Explores Nature in the Music Video for Folk-Pop Single 'Anything' — Watch! (Exclusive)

One theme that pushed the album to where it is today, however, was loss. “Everyone goes through it at one point or another. And I'm lucky enough, honestly, to... I was lucky enough to not have gone through it until recently, or the past couple of years where you have a friend that passes away and it really shakes your foundation of your perception of how long or short life is," Keshi says.

That feeling led to the album’s title track, initially named “Sad Song,” which he admits “hit the nail on the head” when it came to describing the feeling of losing a friend.

Keshi also approached the album's creative process differently this time, too, as he and creative partner Elie Rizk were joined by producer Imad Royal (Doja Cat, BTS) — giving them the space to “back away from the nerd s--- [in the studio] and really just use our ears.” That approach, along with music from the Beatles and other classic groups that Keshi had on rotation at the time, left him with songs that weren’t full of “weird production s--- to make a song sound better,” but were rather refined to sound good at their core.

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

Keshi also has a few ideas in mind for what makes an excellent sophomore album. The first to come to mind for him is The 1975’s I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It, which he was drawn to for its “in-your-face, abrasive 80s pop-synth influence.” Interestingly enough, one look at Keshi’s TikTok comment section under a live video of track “Soft Spot” shows that fans have been drawing some comparisons, too.

While the song — which now has a music video — was Keshi's way of describing what it would sound like “if the heart could sing,” his heart is absolutely in the rest of the LP, too. And it took confidence to get it there.

“I had to re-find my confidence in myself, in my own decisions. Because at the end of the day, that's what got me here in the first place,” he says of Requiem. “And acknowledge the fact that the very first listener, at the end of the day, a la Rick Rubin, is yourself. You can't get pulled into all these different directions for whoever says they want to hear this kind of thing or that kind of thing. At the end of the day, I just want to make music that makes me happy and makes me feel fulfilled and expressed.”

The singer-songwriter-turned-idol may still be finding his footing in being a public figure, but despite any downsides, he knows he's “where I'm supposed to be.”

“It makes me sad to think about a future in which eventually I bow out. But I'm also getting to an age where I want to grow tomatoes. I want to carve out space in my heart to have a dog and eventually kids. That necessitates a quieter, slower life,” Keshi says. “But I'm so unbelievably happy. Stressed, but very, very fulfilled.”

Requiem is now available via Island Records. Tickets to Keshi's Requiem World Tour are also now available.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.