Kinsler: Awaiting the verdict of the board of scenic decency
The current theory is that one or more unknown neighbors think we are in league with Satan, and they’re using Lancaster’s much-beleaguered code-enforcement authority to excise us from their midst. We’ve thus been condemned from the municipal pulpit several times, and I imagine that others who share our closely-packed block of antique houses have likely enjoyed the same experience.
Right now the dilemma surrounds my beloved 1964 Econoline Van. For 24 years it was parked in our back yard where it was visible from the alley if you looked hard enough, although it did appear on Google Earth one year. Prior to the start of its current restoration, I moved it farther behind our garage, where it could offend only if you stood in a neighbor’s yard. But that wasn’t good enough, and since the plaintiff is anonymous there can be no negotiation.
Note that a circumnavigation of our block is comparable to a trip to an automobile museum’s restoration shop. I rather like the bright yellow ’68 (?) Impala, and I usually check on the progress of a half-dozen other driveway rebuilds. Someone over on 5th Avenue has completed the ‘lifting’ of a large pickup truck, performed in the street in front of that area’s stately homes. It was a big job, but now he can add tractor tires.
The Econoline’s restoration has, at length, reached the painting stage. I’ve anointed the current finish with paint thinner to help ensure adhesion, and the gallon of Valspar aluminum paint (highly recommended for grain bins, it says) awaits its trip through the new spray gun.
It’s not beautiful, but it covers sins of the past and certain ravages of time quite well. Touch-up spray paint should, by definition, be a perfect match.
After it dries I shall remount the sparse factory trim, drive it out of the garage and quickly run down to Tractor Supply for our new backyard gates. We can add some sort of plastic fence to these, says Natalie, to protect our fruit trees from the attention of unauthorized visitors* and protect my Econoline from the narrow gaze of our stealth home-owners association.
The question is whether a new, albeit somewhat bumpy aluminum finish will satisfy the pseudo-HOA or whether their strict aesthetic code cannot tolerate the presence of a little van that pre-dates them by 40 years near their dream house. Ours is very much a blue-collar street, and it seems that vehicle restoration is popular, as it is in most towns like Lancaster.
We don’t know the answer yet.
*I can’t imagine that raccoons would be deterred, though.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, lives, writes, tutors, and repairs obsolete clocks in a little old house located well down the hill from Historic Downtown Lancaster. He is in love with Natalie and our two antique alley cats.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: Econoline van an aversion to someone, but maybe a paint job will help
