Man Refuses to Put an Offer on Wife's Dream Home Because of 'One Real Deal-Breaker'

One man says he won't put an offer on his wife's "dream home" due to what he says is "one real deal-breaker"

A 34-year-old man says he won't put an offer on his wife's "dream home" due to what he says is "one real deal-breaker": Homeowners' Association fees.

In a post shared to Reddit, the anonymous man writes that he and his wife are currently shopping for their first home.

"We both put together lists of needs, wants and deal-breakers for our desired home," he writes. Among them are "multiple bedrooms and good schools for when we have kids, fenced in yard for our dog, no major renovations needed, etc."

"I only had one real deal-breaker," the man adds. "I told her I would refuse to even put an offer in on a house that has an HOA."

Growing up in a home that required an HOA, the man writes: "There's no way I want to spend a huge amount of money and have to deal with that kind of thing for who knows how many years. The house could check every single box in our need and want list and I would still refuse to even try and buy it."

But what seemed like a straightforward search wound up not being so easy, the man writes on Reddit.

"We have been priced out of a lot of areas that we were hoping to live in. And the houses that are more within our budget are not exactly what we're looking for," he writes. "We've toured dozens of houses. Had offers rejected. Had sellers try to get us into bidding wars. We've argued, disagreed and fought. It's sucked."

Last week, the couple's realtor sent them a listing for a home that was about to be placed on the market and checked all the boxes.

"My wife fell in love with the pictures and wanted to set up a tour. But as I was looking at the listing, I saw it has an HOA," he writes. "I told my wife that I don't even want to go look at it since I don't want to put an offer in."

After his wife set up a tour with the realtor without him, she spent "an entire evening trying to convince me that it's her 'dream house' and that we need to submit an offer before it's too late," he adds.

The inconvenience of an HOA, she told him, "won't offset how much we enjoy our home."

"I reminded her that when we started looking, that we both agreed that this had to be a 2-yes decision," the man writes. "Meaning that if one of us vetoed a house for whatever reason, we wouldn't pursue it. And she knows that an HOA is my #1 veto reason."

Now, the man's wife is angry at him for vetoing her choice, and he believes she's "letting her frustration with the process cloud her judgement" and taking it out on him.

Reddit users have weighed in, with many siding with the man.

"A decent HOA can change depending on who is serving and if it does, you are still stuck with it," one commenter writes.

Another wrote that they agreed with the frustrations of an HOA, but that the man's deal-breaker could "knock out all but a lucky chance of finding a home."

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