You're Not Alone If the End of Summer Makes You Feel Depressed. Here’s Why
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It’s a simple—and seemingly harmless—question: Can you believe summer is almost over? But come August, it can spark major angst. Your high hopes at the beginning of the season—weekends on the sparkling shoreline, picnics in the park, a concert or music fest or two—didn’t all come true. You may also have felt the pressure to stay social, vacation to the max, and somehow…relax. And now? The last lazy days are slipping through your fingers.
According to Ohio-based clinical psychologist Sarah Cain Spannagel, PhD, the end of the season can bring feelings of loss: “Letting go of some of the liberty that comes with the summer can be hard. Then there are the real, natural changes with levels of light that happen seasonally, and that can really impact us. We take a little bit of a hit when those things happen.”
Read on for three tips to help you make the most of summer days.
1. Try this cognitive trick
Here’s a trick to try next year: At the beginning of summer (or each season), Spannagel recommends making a list of activities you must do, ones you’d really enjoy doing, and ones you can skip. “The idea is having a sense of agency, and the perspective is that not everything is an actual must,” she explains. “Revisit the list as the summer goes on, add to it, and be flexible. A helpful exercise would be, Something that was a must didn’t happen, and the sky didn’t fall, did it? This assures you that it’s okay to reprioritize yourself over a perceived must.”
If your scaries stem from feeling that you’ve turned down too many invitations, she recommends this handy tweak in thinking. “You might be saying no to obligations, but what are you saying yes to?” she says. “So, a reframe: I didn’t make it to that, but I said yes to sitting on my patio by myself.” Allow yourself to feel good about spending time alone when you need to. Think: getting lost in an amazing book, taking a solo walk in nature, or whipping up a meal you love. “That reframe can be a good enough cognitive switch to keep your mood where it should be, and keep guilt or FOMO down. It's a quick cognitive tactic that can make you feel okay with your decisions.”
2. Redefine summer fun
Lose the bells and whistles. "There was a time when the neighbor’s parents let us all have fights in our backyard with cans of shaving cream for Labor Day—it got everywhere,” says Amy Wilson, a New York–based author and cohost of the podcast What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood. “That, to me, was like a month on the French Riviera in terms of awesome summer memories. We think we have to over-deliver for our families, but the things you and the kids will remember will surprise you with how mundane they are.” So while you may not have accomplished everything on your list, it’s still possible to do something fun with the time you have, whether or not there are kids involved. Try making s’mores over a firepit in your backyard, take a homemade picnic to a local outdoor concert, or drive out of town, throw down a blanket, and stargaze to your heart’s content.
3. Drop the comparison game
It can be soul-crushing to scroll through pics of people’s over-the-top vacations, complete with the twinkling blue waters off Saint-Tropez or a casual sunrise hike to Machu Picchu. But remember that posts are highlight reels—snapshots in time without the full context (hello, that’s the point of social media). Here’s where the potential for harmful comparisons comes in. “There’s a little bit of looking at others like, You’re going on that trip; why would you ever be sad?” says Spannagel. “But it’s all relative. You have no real concept of their change in routine, their stressors, how they feel with the transition, or what the summer might be for them.”
It’s worth keeping an eye on your end-of-summer scaries and how much they impact you. Spannagel notes that if you’re feeling dread most of the time, or the feelings are especially intense, or you’ve felt this way for longer than a few days, you should seek clinical help to rule out SAD.
But for most of us, it’s a passing phase. If you’re managing a crowded calendar and worrying that you’ve missed out on your greatest summer yet, remember to cut yourself some slack. Being intentional about your plans and leaning into simplicity are key.
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