Monica Reveals the Memory That Inspired Daughter Laiyah's 90s-Themed Skate Party for Her 11th Birthday (Exclusive)

The birthday girl was surrounded by loved ones, including some surprise guests, as she celebrated her special day

• Monica is celebrating a special moment as daughter Laiyah turns 11

• Speaking with PEOPLE about Laiyah's 90s-themed skating party, the proud mom opens up about what it means to see her daughter turn the age she was when she was discovered as a singer

• The full circle moment feels like a perfect moment for the singer to reflect on family and the woman her little girl is becoming
  

A girl only turns 11 once!

Monica is all too aware of how special that milestone is — the singer was just 11 years old herself when she was first discovered by producer Dallas Austin in 1991. The moment sparked the beginning of an illustrious career that continues to serve her, over three decades later.

For all those reasons, Monica knew she wanted to go big to celebrate her daughter Laiyah's 11th birthday. Laiyah turned 11 on Monday, Sept. 4., getting to enjoy a birthday party with friends ahead of the big day to kick off the celebrations.

Speaking exclusively with PEOPLE about the special event, Monica says she wanted to give her daughter this special experience to celebrate the connection they share.

"My daughter and I are extremely close. She is the only girl in the family for quite some time, and she connects with a lot of what I've experienced."

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Related: Monica Says Motherhood Is a 'Level of Happiness' That She Can't Find Anywhere Else: 'Unconditional Love'

The mom and daughter have discussed Monica's hard work coming up, something that interests Laiyah, who hopes to pursue voice acting and modeling.

"A lot of times I talk to her about my past and how I was discovered. And since I was discovered at 11 and we were looking back, that was the catalyst for us deciding on a skate party that's a 90s-themed party."

To invite guests to the celebration, mother and daughter enjoyed a themed photo shoot where Monica wore the very outfit she was wearing the night she was discovered, at 11.

"Laiyah fell in love with the outfit and thought it was so hilarious that I was walking around with my face on the back of my own jacket," she tells PEOPLE. "In the midst of us laughing hysterically about it, we came up with a really fun idea. We actually put it all together in 72 hours."

That was made possible with help from event planner Tori Williams, who has worked closely with the family for a while.

"She knows that I'm very last minute, but I'm very precise. When I call her with an idea, I've mapped out a good bit of it and then she orchestrates it so perfectly. She never complains, she never hesitates and she never says she can't. That's how I fell in love with her, because can't is not in her vocabulary."

Together, they transformed the skating rink with beautiful decor and 90s touches that brought the celebration to life.

"I think my favorite part was the area that had the multicolored tables with the multicolored flowers. I thought that was so beautiful with her picture above. Her cake was incredible. The fact that she decided to have her cake in almost like a cake swing was so amazing to me. Those were probably my two favorite parts."

The birthday girl was in awe of it all, from her surprise guests to her special birthday cake.

"She kept saying, 'It can't be a real cake.' It was a real focal point. She was really exciting about the hanging skates throughout the decor. She was most shocked about her guests, because I didn't tell her about who'd be flying in," Monica explains.

"We're really emotionally attached to those we love, so I think she was more excited about that than anything. She also was excited to get more pairs of skates. She got three pairs in three days, because we got a couple when we shot the photos and then she was gifted another pair from the skating rink that morning. She literally skated through the house for the 72 hours leading up to the party."

When it came to the music they skated to that day, Monica jokes, "One note I always tell them is don't play me. Do not play mom."

"Even though she says she loves to hear it, I always tell them not to play me. They play the current playlists of course. Everyone turns up because we're from Atlanta and skating is a big part of our culture. It's really a part of our history and it was so fun. But her and her friends enjoyed all the current records," she says.

"She also really enjoyed watching JD and Bow Wow skate to their own music. Anytime they played a So So Def record, they were in sync skating. I thought that was pretty dope. They were really showing off because I can't skate, to say the least. The only thing I do with an S is sing so I was really lacking in that department, but it was so much fun watching them enjoy themselves."

Laiyah also made sure to get in plenty of skating during the special event.

"She really got to enjoy actually skating! I think oftentimes, when you have a celebration that big, you don't always get to do everything. But she made it her business to enjoy herself and skate with her friends. She got to see Shai, who is one of her closest friends. She actually lives in L.A., so it meant a lot for Bow to make sure she was there," she says.

"All the people that are closest to her — that love on her daily, that encourage her daily — in one room. It's a rarity because we all move around so much and work so much, but to take those moments and enjoy being loved on by people that genuinely care for you, it's special."

Monica credits her mom, Marilyn Best, for "preserving and archiving" important items from her career, making her mother-daughter moment with Laiyah possible.

"It's all been properly preserved, and so for that reason, all of the artifacts, or what I would call the makings of me, all exist. My daughter gets a kick out of learning more about me and some of the things I've been through. "

She also credits everyone who took the time out to be there.

"I don't take it for granted. I would love to encourage other people to spend time with the people you love. You don't have to be related to have the type of relationship that deserves time. As I lose more people, this becomes more and more important to me," she says.

"Looking around the party. I missed my uncles, so much my entire childhood. They never missed anything, and I lost them both over the last two years. And so, just being able to spend the time and create memories with the people that matter most, I encourage anybody that if anyone you love that you do that. We're gonna do as much of that as we can."

As Laiyah's 11th year kicks off, Monica is hopeful her daughter will always remember that "she can find her own path and choose to do her own things."

"I always tell her that her identity does not have to connect to mine, but she really enjoys that. She says we look alike and we're both tall and she always says, 'Mommy I want to be like you.' I know that some people say their children like to be the opposite of them, but it does mean a lot to me that she supports me the way that she does and she's so intrigued by my past and how hard I worked as a kid," she says.

"She always tells me, 'Mommy, no matter what I do. I do my best because I know you always did your best,' and those things mean a lot to me. As a parent, you don't know how much of what you show them they're retaining but she really hangs on to it. All of my children are really hard workers."

The mom of four admits she "cried a little bit" during the event, explaining, "Laiyah said it was the best party that she's ever had. She kept hugging us and thanking us."

"I always tell Laiyah that she has to know, understand and remember she was created by the most high. There is only one of her. She's destined for greatness, and that there's nothing she can't do. I tell her and my sons the very same thing — she has to know that she's enough in any and every space," she says.

"It's important that we know that and understand that. I always tell them to be their best at all times. It's what you do when people can't see you that really speaks to your character. It's important to me to teach them those types of things. I call them country values and down-home values because I grew up with a family that, regardless of what we did or didn't have, we had each other. We had genuineness, we had love, we had authenticity, and we had family."

She continues, "Those are the things that I push most for her and she's really been listening. She's 11 years old and she's already almost 5'7" and very confident, very sweet, and very respectful. That's most important for me. All the other stuff falls into place when your heart is intact."

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