Man bakes his first pie and accidentally creates ‘a portal into the underworld’

Fire burn and caldron bubble. (Courtesty u/SirSalmonCat via Reddit)
Fire burn and caldron bubble.

A man’s first foray into baking also became his first magical spell as a warlock.

On Sept. 13, in the subreddit r/Baking, a Las Vegas resident who goes by SirSalmonCat on the platform posted a video showing the result of his freshman attempt at pastry: a hot, fresh, fruit pie — but rather than having an appetizing appearance, it looked, well, hellish.

“I tried to bake my first pie... inadvertently created a portal into the underworld,” wrote the Redditor.

Fresh out of the oven, the pie bubbles like a witch’s cauldron full of toil and trouble. It looks like something may be trying to escape from its depths.

After the video went viral, with over 78,000 upvotes, its comments section was filled with those eager to get into the spooky spirit (Halloween isn’t too far away, after all).

“Basically this is why we put salt in things,” commented one Redditor, urging others to season their food and pie dough. “Salt keeps evil spirits away and keeps portals closed.”

“Hot damn(ed souls), now that’s a pie,” wrote another.

“Staring into this abyss is strangely hypnotizing. I can’t seem to look away from it. 😵‍💫,” commented someone else. “I’m doomed, aren’t I?”

SirSalmonCat suggested this commenter “smother the gateway with sacred resin” — aka Cool Whip — to “prevent an inconvenient doomsday in your dwelling.”

“Are you the Keymaster?” asked another, making a clever reference to the 1984 movie “Ghostbusters.” SirSalmonCat responded, “Apparently only on my days off work.”

Others made supernatural pop culture references like “Lord of the Rings,” “Venom,” Disney, “The Witch” and video game Skyrim.

“Fabulous job, most people just don’t take the time to make a proper portal to hell these days,” commented one Redditor. “You can really taste the evil here just by looking. Did you use locally sourced blood of a virgin or just store bought?”

SirSalmonCat replied that he “acquired the rare ingredients” from Walmart and Kroger, jokingly referring to them as “trusted merchants” in his “citadel.”

When one commenter asked for advice on how to close their pie portal, SirSalmonCat gave them the following instructions: “First entomb the pie in a cold fridge to temporarily sedate the movements of the abyss, then consume gradually within a few days to deconstruct the gateway.” He added that next time, he’ll be sure to learn how to make a “cage” (a lattice top) to prevent the filling from bubbling over.

SirSalmonCat, who prefers to go by his Reddit username to protect his identity, tells TODAY.com that the decision to make his very first pie came while he was enjoying some time off work as a software developer.

“I was thrilled that commenters took the post lightheartedly,” he tells TODAY.com. “All I did was bake a strange ‘pie’ in my cheap oven. They took such limited content far beyond what I would have ever expected.”

He says he’s been enjoying all the jokes and appreciating the reposts of his creation in subreddits like r/grossinating. He says he posted it on a whim and didn’t notice it going viral until the next morning when his “inbox had exploded.”

The Redditor says his pie cooled its “hell-broth boil and bubble” after about five minutes, and it ended up tasting delicious.

A slice of pie — or a magical spell? You decide! (Courtesty u/SirSalmonCat via Reddit)
A slice of pie — or a magical spell? You decide!

“The fruity surface caramelized into a sweet leathery substance,” he said, adding that he put a dollop of Cool Whip and enjoyed it with a cup of Earl Grey tea. “Within two days, the entire pie was gone (I live alone so I can’t blame it on anyone else).”

On Sept. 15, SirSalmonCat decided to benevolently bestow the recipe — or spell — for his devilish dessert on Imgur.

“Begin preheating your eldritch oven to 350ºF,” SirSalmonCat wrote. “Continue to cook on low-medium for 20 minutes and allow any ghosts to escape while stirring delicately.”

SirSalmonCat says he is “delighted” that strangers have been so amused by his whimsical creation, some are planning to bake their own pie portal for Halloween or fantasy-themed parties.

“People are all connected in many ways,” he tells us, “It’s gratifying to throw a couple tiny pebbles into the pond of life just to observe where the ripples go.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com

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