Packing a surprise for one last back-to-school move to college

Although I’ve been on the mom-end of three kids heading back to school since 2003, I have a core memory of my own school years that’s my default when I see the words, “back to school.” It’s a kaleidoscope of feelings playing in my gut: excitement to go back, sadness that summer was over, optimism that this was going to be the greatest year ever, dread to see the same nemeses — both human and curriculum — and the pep from a step that only new sneakers can give you.

When my kids were younger, back-to-school consistently involved a frantic hunt for all the items on The List, and a perfect backpack for each of them. They got excited to see their friends, optimistic about the new year and classes, and dreaded that they had to get up earlier for fully scheduled days. When they headed off on that first day, I always breathed a little easier because my big summer project of being a constant parent-on-call was complete.

This month, two of my kids went back to school, one as a college sophomore and one as a teacher. There was nothing I could do for the latter but clear some things from his Amazon Wishlist. The other could have moved himself back to campus without me, but he kindly pretended he needed my help because he knows that I LOVE move-in day.

I loved getting all three kids ready for college. I loved helping them provision their dorm rooms with organizers, bedding, personal care items, decor… heck, I even loved the after-move-in Target run for things we forgot or didn’t realize we needed.

But my favorite part was the actual event of move-in day. I loved the excitement of seeing so many people emptying vehicles of mounds of carefully packed items that would turn a tiny space into a home for the school year. I loved watching families with kids and parents both eager and anxious about the school year. I loved being one of them.

I loved the last hug and “I love you” before leaving them, trusting that they would, as I told them each day of their lives until that one, make good choices.

But my last college kid is already fully provisioned so back-to-school shopping this year was just for me: a golden T-shirt with the college name emblazoned in black across the front. Do I already have a shirt with that school’s name and “Mom” on it? Yes, yes I do, but I felt that dorm move-in day needed a uniform and souvenir (plus the yellow was a shade that looks good on me, I’m no ego-less protagonist here.)

On moving day, my son and I both drove our half-full cars. We left exactly when we planned to, knew exactly where we were going, and hit no traffic.

The rest of the move-in was just as uneventful. In a housing miracle, he got exactly the same room that he inhabited last year, so we already knew how to loft his bed and there were no decisions as to where to put things. He had streamlined what he brought this year and there was nothing assemble. In the dorm parking lot, there were only a couple of other kids moving in, so we didn’t even have to wait for an elevator.

But the big surprise was still ahead for me: an hour and half into my solo return trip, I realized I hadn’t cried at all. I didn’t even mist up, not once! That college kid has no intention of living in the dorms next year, so that was my last college move-in day and I wasn’t sad. Instead, I was happily driving home to my husband and our back-to-school empty nest. I was excited for the upcoming year for all of us, maybe a little wistful that summer was ending, but optimistic about this next stage for our family.

Susan is a Kansas City based writer and podcaster. She co-hosts the award-winning, long-running women’s history podcast, The History Chicks.