Sadly, mocking the Cougs during Apple Cup week just isn’t as much fun as it used to be

I’m having a hard time being a patronizing snob this week, which is really too bad.

Patronizing Cougs is something I look forward to every single year in the week leading up to the Apple Cup. It’s almost like it comes natural to me as Husky alum, and after more than 30 years of dogged first-person research, I’ve come up with sure-fire ways to get a Coug’s goat:

1. Refer to them as a little brother;

2. Point out that Oregon is the rival we most loathe;

3. Say something like, “I often find myself rooting for the Cougs when they aren’t playing the Huskies.”

This last one has proven to be especially effective. At least it was with Jim Moore, the esteemed gentleman who will occupy this column space next week. I’ve worked with Jim a couple times now, most recently from 2014 through 2019 when we hosted an afternoon radio show along with Dave Wyman.

Whenever I mentioned my affection for the Cougs, Jim would state unequivocally that he did not want me rooting for the Cougs. I would respond by asserting my right – guaranteed by the United States Constitution – to root for whomever I wanted. Then I’d ask him to tell me about the time he was so depressed over a Coug loss in the Apple Cup that he not only skipped a wedding he was scheduled to attend with his girlfriend later that day, but he neglected to even call her and inform her he was skipping it.

Yes, that actually happened, and since “a Coug loss in the Apple Cup” doesn’t really narrow things down, I’ll be more specific: It was 1975 at Husky Stadium, a game best remembered for Warren Moon’s 78-yard pass to Spider Gaines for the game-winning touchdown.

In most years, I would continue on like this, trying to antagonize WSU fans in general and Jim in particular because that’s what you do to your rivals: You find out what annoys them the most, and then you do that. Repeatedly.

Except I feel bad doing it this year.

Actually, it’s worse than that. I feel guilty because of the way Washington skipped out for the Big Ten, leaving the Cougs hung out to dry.

Now, I recognize that Washington was not the school that started the sequence of events that led to this reality. That would be USC and UCLA, who showed the selfish, superficial charm that Southern California is known for by ditching the Pac-12 in the dead of night.

But even then, the Huskies didn’t want to leave. They spent the next year in lockstep with the nine remaining schools, trying to work out a new broadcast contract, and it was only when that didn’t pan out that Washington went to the Big Ten along with Oregon, leaving Washington State and Oregon State paired up in what should be known as the 2Pac.

Still, I feel pretty lousy about leaving the Cougs behind. Actually, it’s worse than that. I feel like we forfeited the moral high ground, confirming ourselves to be the selfish and self-interested lot the Cougs have always thought we were.

Of course it’s possible that I’m being a little over-dramatic about what is just a bit of realignment. College football is still being played, and while the Apple Cup is two months earlier, there are examples of rivalries that have persisted between schools in different conferences: Iowa and Iowa State, Pittsburgh and West Virginia. You don’t need a conference to make this game matter. Cougs fans are still going to be resentful of Washington and the Huskies are going to be arrogant toward the Cougs. Not without reason, of course. Washington has won 12 of the past 13 games in the series.

Plus, since it’s September, the Cougs don’t have to worry about the snow.

Sorry. That’s another jab at Jim Moore. Back in 2018, he spent several months insisting that the Cougars would have beaten the Huskies in the Apple Cup were it not for the snow, which is pretty rich considering how giddy Cougar fans used to get over Washington’s snow-bowl loss in 1992.

But honestly, Jim’s right. The Cougs might have won that game were it not for the snow. They had a great team in 2018 with Gardner Minshew at quarterback, and they were ranked No. 7 coming into that game only to watch Myles Gaskin run 80 yards inside the snow globe that was Martin Stadium before subsequently performing a snow angel.

Then again, maybe the Huskies would have won regardless of the weather considering it was not only Washington’s ninth win in a row in the series, but the seventh straight time the Huskies beat the Cougs by double digits.

It just feels mean to point out things like that now, though. Besides, I actually like the Cougs, which stands in sharp contrast to my feelings about the Oregon Ducks.

The Cougs have always felt more like a brother, and the fact I’m not hanging an adjective in front of that sibling reference tells you that I’m actually trying to be serious here.

Leaving the Cougs behind is something I’m always going to feel bad about. Especially this week, and if the Cougs are carrying a chip on their collective shoulders over the way it all went down, I can’t really blame them. I almost feel like it would serve us right if Washington State kicked our butt on Saturday.

Almost.

Because as badly as I might feel about what happened to the Cougs, there are limits to my empathy. I am a Husky after all.

Danny O’Neil was born in Oregon, the son of a logger but had the good sense to attend college in Washington. He’s covered Seattle sports for 20 years, writing for two newspapers, one glossy magazine and hosting a daily radio show for eight years on KIRO 710 AM. You can subscribe to his free newsletter and find his other work at dannyoneil.com.