Newsflash: Some women don’t have or want to have kids
Zoë Kravitz and Tracee Ellis Ross, like many women, are unapologetic about their decision to not have kids.
From a young age, society programs women to aim for marriage and children. However, as time goes on, research has found more and more women are reaching milestones like marriage and parenthood later than previous generations. Additionally, a Pew Research Center study found that young women are less likely to want children compared to men. Just as 21% of the study’s women reported not wanting children at all, stars like Zoë Kravitz and Tracee Ellis Ross have stood confidently in their decision not to have children, despite critics.
Recently, Kravitz discussed her uncertainty about motherhood in an interview with Esquire.
“For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be crazy,’” she told the publication, reflecting on the moment she realized having children wouldn’t be crazy. “I had to actually look at what do I want?”
While her fiancé Channing Tatum shares his 11-year-old daughter Everly with ex-wife Jenna Dewan, the “Blink Twice” director says she came to terms with her decision during her first marriage to Karl Glusman in 2019. Since then, Kravitz has intentionally surrounded herself with people with similar mindsets and who respect her lifestyle decisions.
“For a lot of people that have children, it is this giant, life-changing event — and I do think there is a certain amount of focus and respect that they should get from their community,” she added, stating her hopes that people would give other milestones the same level of respect. “There’s a lot of pressure on women to have children, and there’s a feeling that if you don’t, you don’t have purpose here. But this movie [“Blink Twice”], it feels like I gave birth.”
Similarly, Ross, who has criticism over the years for not having children, echoed some of Kravitz’s sentiments.
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“Some of the ability to reflect on what I really want comes from pushing up against a society that shames me for not having the expected trappings,” Ross said, as previously reported by theGrio. “I’m very pleased with my existence these days…It’s sort of fascinating to be…single and childless…Happily single, I should add.”
During an appearance on the “We Can Do Hard Things With Glennon Doyle” podcast in 2023, Ross reflected on her experience as a single, childless woman going through perimenopause.
“Is it my fertility that is leaving me? Is it my womanhood? Or is it really neither?” she said, reading an excerpt of her journal on the show. “I have to fight to hold my truth because I have been programmed so successfully by the water we all swim in, by the water we all are served. And I feel fertile with creativity, full of power, more and more a woman than I’ve ever been. And yet that power that I was told I must use was not used.”
While the 51-year-old actress has personally come to terms with how her life has turned out, social media trolls continue criticizing the star for her unapologetic approach to life. Recently, a resurfaced Instagram post sparked social media discourse about Ross’ age, relationship status, and child-free lifestyle. Focusing on the star’s decision to pose topless in one of a carousel of photos, critics on X and Instagram reportedly commented things like “Too old for this, disgusting,” and “Why you ain’t at home with a husband & children who had children… She is a victim of modern-day feminism,” per Glamour.
While haters try to label the star as desperate, Ross says she’s approached her childless lifestyle “with curiosity instead of heartbreak.”
“The heartbreak does come up, and I get to hold that gently and lovingly and then remind myself, like, ‘I woke up every morning of my life and I’ve tried to do my best, so I must be where I’m supposed to be,’” she added. “My ability to have a child is leaving me, but I don’t agree that that’s what fertile means; I don’t agree that that’s what woman[hood] means.”
