'It’s OK to walk away, but never shake a crying baby'

A mother with blonde hair wearing a light green blouse holding her crying baby on her lap. She has one hand on the baby's chest and the other holding  up it's head. They are sitting both on a grey sofa and the baby's dummy is laying beside them.
ICON’s mission is to offer support and advice to parents and carers who may be struggling [Getty Images]

A new campaign is urging parents struggling to care for a persistent crying baby to "never shake" their child.

Hundreds of workers are currently being trained in the ICON Cope scheme across Bristol, North Somerset and South Gloucestershire, which offers advice on how to support families with crying babies.

The programme's strategies include the message that it is "okay to walk away for a few minutes".

ICON Cope founder Dr Suzanne Smith, said: “Abusive head trauma can occur in any setting when a parent or carer is overwhelmed by persistent crying."

"The additional pressures from the rising cost of living further strain families, leading to potentially devastating consequences.

“We aim to normalise the experience of infant crying, share practical information on managing stress, and ultimately reduce the risk of abusive head trauma," she added.

The training coincides with ICON week, which is running until 27 September. This year's campaign also urges friends and relatives to support parents when their babies are crying.

Dr Suzanne Smith smiling in front of grey background. She has brown hair and blue eyes.
Dr Suzanne Smith hopes her programme will "normalise the experience of infant crying" [BBC]

The ICON programme is built around a simple acronym:

  • I – Infant crying is normal and will eventually stop.

  • C – Comfort methods can sometimes soothe the baby, and the crying will cease.

  • O – It’s okay to walk away for a few minutes if you have ensured the baby’s safety and the crying is overwhelming.

  • N – Never shake or hurt a baby.

Research shows that some frustrated parents and carers may shake their baby to stop them crying, which can have devastating and lifelong consequences.

Shaking babies can cause severe head injuries caused by the brain rebounding inside the skull, leading to bruising, swelling, pressure, or bleeding.

This can cause lifelong learning disabilities, severe brain damage, or even death. This form of abuse affects around 35 in 100,000 babies.

Annie Tombs lying in a hospital bed after giving birth to her son, who is wrapped up in a blanket and lying on her chest.
Ms Tombs recommends signposting advice to pregnant women, so they feel prepared when the time comes [BBC]

Annie Tombs from Bristol runs a parenting podcast called Mindful Mums.

As a first-time mum, she remembers one incident when her three-week-old son would not stop crying in the middle of the night.

“It was a really high-pitched cry, as if something was seriously wrong," she said.

"I remember handing him to my partner and busting into tears, saying ‘I can’t do it. What have we done? How are we going to get through this?’

“As I’ve gone through this journey, I’ve realised that babies can pick up on how you’re feeling."

Ms Tombs said in order to calm your baby down, you first need to understand and regulate your own emotions before addressing theirs.

“I’m trying to make sure those parents have that help and support before it reaches a point they might later regret," she added.

The Bristol, North Somerset and South Gloucestershire Integrated Care Board (ICB) has been partnering with local authorities to roll out ICON training to police staff, library staff, child minders, nursery workers and social workers.

More than 150 people have been trained in 2024 and it is hoped this number will reach 350 by the end of the year.

Soothing strategies include feeding, singing to your baby, rocking them gently, skin to skin contact, giving them a warm bath or going for a short stroll.

'Young babies do cry'

Designated nurse for the board Toyah Carty-Moore said: “ICON helps people who care for babies to cope with crying. It’s important for people to know that infant crying is normal, comforting methods can help."

She added that it is OK for parents to "walk away" but they should "never shake a baby".

"Young babies do cry, and this is completely normal, and sometimes they can’t be easily soothed.

"We want people to know that if your baby doesn’t stop crying it’s important to stay calm.

"Providing your baby is well, it’s also OK to walk away for a few minutes if the baby is safe and the crying is becoming too much," she added.

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